I keep My Light On

     My front light that it is.  It has a blue ribbon on it.  You see, some time before Christmas someone put something on Facebook about putting a blue ribbon out to let the police force know you support them and are thinking about them during the holiday season.  I put the ribbon up, I turned my light on.  But you see, the thing is, they're always out there, they're always looking out for us, they're always away from their families.
   
     So, the light is on, the ribbon is up.  It will stay on and it will stay up, until I find a bigger ribbon for them.  Maybe we don't want to forget them.  Hmmmmm, maybe I add a yellow ribbon too.  Anybody have any other ribbons I need to add?  Because I will.  Seems like such a small thing to do to say thank you to those who serve.

    That is all.  Just think about it. Maybe you want to say thank you.

What The Hell Is Going On In My Bathroom?

     I need someone to explain this to me.  So far I've figured out it has to do with the 2 men that live in my house.  I don't know who's fault it is, I suspect they're both in on it, but I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how the hell they get pee everywhere?  I'm not even sure they make it into the bowl most of the time, some of the time?  sure, but not most of the time.  Ok, maybe it's not quite as bad as all that, but I'm still confused!  The wall?  On the baseboard?  The side of cupboard?  The floor?  BEHIND the toilet?And my personal favorite, under the sink!  (I'm guessing this one involved someone who had to pee way to badly and it just escaped, but what do I know.)  Maybe I should just take solace in the fact that there isn't any on the ceiling.  Yet.  I'm sure it's just a matter of time.  Hmm, how would THAT happen?  A poorly timed sneeze I'm guessing.

     I just don't get it.  They can't be sneezing EVERY time they're in there.  What do they even DO in there?  Seriously?  What happens?  It's a big enough target, isn't it?  Should I put flashy lights in there?  Would that help their aim?  We've got a frosted window, so they can't be looking out there daydreaming.  I got nothing, no ideas.  Paint the inside of the bowl with a target?  Or the face of an archenemy maybe?  Rig it so a bell rings if they hit the target for 10 seconds in a row and they get a prize?  Is this my new million dollar idea?  Toilet Targets?

     Of course they both deny it.  They both claim it just HAS to be the other one.  They both have PERFECT aim.  But obviously, they don't.  I'm about to boycott cleaning that entire side of the bathroom, forever!

     This is why I hate, no double triple hate, cleaning the bathroom.  Every week I'm shaking my head, trying to figure out what the hell is going on in there.  It's a mystery, that will remain a mystery.