This is life with Brian. Wandering around the hills, valleys, plateaus, enjoying the scenery. Smelling the flowers. Traversing a desert with no hope of water. Just when I'm about to give up, an oasis. Finding an oak tree hundreds of years old, slumbering amongst the roots, deep cool in the shade. Shoving my toes into the soft mud at the bottom of a stream. Sitting on a little hummock dotted with buttercups. Discovering the foundations of a long gone home, with a horseshoe still nailed in the wall. Drifting to sleep in a meadow, the grass so deep you cannot see. Shivering in the cold and rain, wanting nothing but to sleep and not wake up, and then a dry cave, with dry wood. This is life with Brian.
And then a cliff. What happens next is inevitable. He grabs my hand, he jumps. Before I can think, squirm away, pull my hand from his, I'm plummeting alongside, having no idea if we will live through the fall. But he knows. And we land. Safe, unhurt. Smiling. Big. Laughing. I'm confused, I'm breathless. Brian starts walking, and in a daze I follow. This is life with Brian.
Opposites attract. Like begets like. I don't know. I only know that in 5 years I have taken on adventures I never thought to. He gives me no time to think because think I will, long, hard, longer. By the time I make up my mind, frequently the chance is gone. I used to chalk that up to fate and say that I was not meant to (insert activity here). Now I realize, I thought my way out of opportunities. An ambush wedding and now an ambush home purchase. This is life with Brian.
10 months of marriage. I'm beginning to think I was smart enough to marry a man who is everything I am not. Nope, strike that. I'm not that smart. He was smart enough to make sure I married him, because he knew he's exactly what I needed. Life was going along just fine, well there were struggles, deaths, disappointments, but it was going along. There was a comfort in our routines, an assurance, a strength. Then he grabbed my hand and jumped out of steady and into marriage without a doubt. At least no doubt he ever let me see. 2 1/2 weeks to plan and it was beautiful, he knew it would be. I'm still in a daze, still shocked and surprised at odd moments, the sun glints off my wedding ring and I think "How did that get there? Did that really happen?" This is life with Brian.
He makes decisions with such certitude. If only I had that. Wait, I do, because I have Brian, and he is always certain enough for both of us. He has a faith within him that pulls apart doubt, breaks it down and leaves behind only the answer. Plain, simple, clear. Never a worry that this is a mistake, whatever the "this" is, just the answer and a leap. And faith. An endless waterfall of faith. He truly believes that everything will be just fine, and if it's not, well, then we'll learn and try again, and again, and again. The right cliff will come and when it does, he will jump with me alongside him, we will land and continue our journey. This is life with Brian.
Me? I'd prefer a parachute, just in case. A little reconnaissance, perhaps? A map, maybe? I'm learning. 5 years and I've almost stopped looking behind me at the cliff receding into the sky as we plummet! I'm learning to try and watch the ground rush up at me and smile. It's not working, really. For now, I'll just look at Brian. He has faith we will land safely, and I have faith in him. I may not know where we're going to land, or even if we will land, but I do know that smile on his face is strong enough to protect us both.
This is life with Brian, a lesson in leaps of faith. A lesson worth learning. I suggest you try one. You might just surprise yourself. I'm surprised all the time in my life with Brian.
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