It Starts With The Tongue

The best sex you will ever have begins with your tongue.  This is actually the most important organ in your body when it comes to sexual pleasure.  From the conversations I've had recently I am realizing that many people suffer from, what I call, "tight tongue".  You must begin by exercising your tongue, work it out, loosen it up.  How?  Speak.

Yeah, you thought this was going to get dirty, didn't you?  Well, there's hope yet.

I suppose we don't talk about sex much due to our puritanical heritage.  We're inundated with sex on T.V., in movies, magazines, everywhere, and yet we don't talk about it.  We look at it, think about it, fantasize, but we don't talk about it.  I find this to be so very confusing.  If we're going to surround ourselves with it, why not actually enjoy it?

I'm not sure why, but I seem to be the sounding board for a lot of "sex" conversations, especially lately.  I'm noticing a constant thread with them though.  It would seem like a lot of couples just don't talk to each other.  Why is this so very very difficult for us?  I figure this person has already seen you at your most intimate and vulnerable.  Over the course of your life, how many people have ever seen your orgasm face?  Less than more I would suppose.  If you've opened up this much, why not open up some more?  You've already let them in.  I really get shocked when the couple in question is married.  Here you've opened up to this person, clearly a sexual relationhip is involved and you've vowed to share your life with them, forsaking all others.  If you're going to give up all future sexual relations, seems a fair trade that you make the most of the one you have.  Dosen't it?

So why not talk, why not open up?  What's holding us back?  Embarrassment?  Of what?  That our spouse is not going to approve of our desires or share our fantasy?  Well, maybe not, but maybe.  It should be worth the risk.  There should be a level of trust developed at some point that makes it worth it.  I like to believe that my husband accepts who I am.  He may not have seen all sides of me yet, but I expect that as new parts of me open up he will accept them, love them, or open up a discussion.

So, I get that maybe I am far too hopeful on this subject.  People don't talk much and they certainly don't talk about sex, but I'm an optimist, what can I say?  Start small.  "I like this" "I don't like that".  You'd be surprised what you will learn.  Look, this isn't a sex help talk.  I'm not going to tell you what to do in bed or not do.

I'm going to tell you this:  In the very beginning of sexual life with my husband (then boyfriend, yes, I had premarital sex) used to do this thing.  Doesn't matter what that was, all that matters is he did it.  After a bit, one time, when he did it, I stopped him and said "I don't really like that".  After that night, outside of sex, I mentioned it again.  I was worried I was interfering with his pleasure/happiness.  Nope.  Turns out he didn't like it either, but thought that women did.  So I guess there was a woman who did at some point in his life.  (OK, so most men don't realize that all women are anatomically different and just because one likes it doesn't mean we all do or that you're hitting any kind of good "spot", pssst, hey girls, the same is true for them, they are all individuals).

You see, it doesn't matter how much "experience" you have,  it only matters what THIS experience is. Go make tonight the best experience ever.  Remember, exercise that tongue!  It's your most potent sexual tool!