I am struggling, my friends. This has been a hard time for our family and I am finding it harder at various times. I am thinking social media is the end of anything actually social. Today I am on FaceBook and I see a prayer request. I always read those. While I am not Judeo-Christian, I believe in the power of prayer/positive energy/karma. Call it what you will. I read them and I "pray". This one was for a football player that I'm pretty sure my cousin has never met in his life. I'm darn sure that this football player never snuck chocolates and oreos for my cousin or traipsed around the woods for hours finding animal skeletons or spent countless hours watching him play air guitar and lip syncing to The Police. But my cousin is asking me to pray for this stranger. And I will.
You see, here's my issue. When I posted to ask for prayers for my family as my husband's mother was dying and then died of cancer, this same cousin did not share my post. Why does a stranger football player rate higher than his own family? This is what I'm seeing on FaceBook. Share this post of a person you never met, but not your own family. And heaven forbid we write our own posts about our own families.
It's so much easier to just "like" and "share" what someone else has spent the time writing and saying. We need to be writing our own words. This football player has 21, 198 likes and 1,188 comments, my request for prayers (and it was the first time I ever did that, so don't think I'm some kind of serial prayer hogger) received 14 likes and 11 comments. Seems no one shared it either. I am left wondering, what would all that positive energy have done for my mother-in-law or our family?
The next time you think the words of a stranger are worth sharing or liking, go back, scroll your page, maybe a friend or family member needs it too, share that as well. Maybe you should help them. I will pray for Jim Kelly tonight too, but maybe some of you could pray for my Mother-in-law on her new journey, her name was Roxie Lee Cole. Or you could just pray for my family to find strength and courage at this time. Or maybe you could just pray or meditate on healing, strength and courage for us all.
I know clicking "share" is easy and mindless. The truly heroic act, in this day and age, seems to be actually mailing a card. How sad is that? In case you're wondering, no, a comment, share or like is not the same and means an awful lot less. Oh, I know, I've just pissed a ton of "commenters", "likers" and "sharers" off. Here's the truth. My Mother-in-law died. We were not that close. I did not know her very long. Some of my friends (mine, not my husbands) drove 2 hours to support us (me) at the funeral. Those who could not, maybe they sent cards or picked up the phone and called. You see, it's about making an effort. As you go through your day realize, it's the people who make an effort for you that you should be spending your energy on.
I love my cousin, I miss my cousin. I'm realizing that maybe we are not much anymore. I'm realizing I've maybe lost more than a Mother-in-law and the brilliant smile she brought into the room. I'm realizing if I want people in my life, I have to show them that they matter. And when I do not matter in return, I must just say farewell.
Finally, do not ask others to participate in your life if you do not participate in theirs. I promise to do better. I will share the posts of others asking for help for their families and loved ones. Perhaps we can all try harder and do better. I know I can.
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